Beauty is Only Skin Deep

Beauty is subjective. We place so much emphasis on appearances. Whether it’s fashion, hair or makeup for women or material objects, prestige or physical attributes for men. We are all guilty of focusing too much attention on external appearances or what makes us feel more attractive, powerful or successful.

People tend to judge you on your appearance. The more “Put-together” you appear people will either admire or envy you.  Studies show that people perceive beauty with people who are smarter or more successful.  In reality, your outside appearance has nothing to do with your knowledge or experience. 

We also will not stay young forever. The amount of time, money or energy you put into your appearance will eventually fade as life moves on. No matter how much Botox or plastic surgery you decide to get the underlying factor is that you will still age and your beauty will eventually fade.

What value do you place on working on your emotional, mental, spiritual or psychological parts of who you are? When you take extra time to work on your character, abilities or talents, or peace of mind, it pays off in how you feel about yourself. Releasing negative thoughts are equally important to elevate your mindset. 

It’s hard to dig deep and reflect on your past experiences and reflect on what you’ve learned. It’s even harder to forgive someone who has deeply hurt you.

The value you place on developing yourself and becoming a better, quality person overrides the latest trends in fashion, hair or makeup. Who are you becoming? What do you want to change about yourself? How do you really feel about yourself? Are you honest? Are you truly happy with the decisions you made in your life? Or are you only expressing the sides that you want people to see? Taking time to self-evaluate yourself is not a bad idea. When you spend time alone, you can purge out all the things in your life that are not bringing you joy. Over time you will improve your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.

When you feel good about yourself on the inside, it will truly reflect on the outside. You will not be quick to compare yourself to others. It’s not an overnight process. It takes time, dedication and persistence plus a lot of hard work. It’s not something you can buy or order for a quick-fix but it will be well worth the investment in your self-care and overall health. 

It’s a life-changing process that can never compare to buying a new pair of shoes or wearing the latest eyelash extensions. You will no longer feel empty and chase after superficial things. It’s only after you have built up your inside that you can flourish on the outside. You will feel even more attractive and beautiful. You will have an inner glow. Your personality will shine because you truly feel comfortable in your own skin. You also will not want to abuse your body or mind by using toxic substances whether alcohol, cigarettes or even having unprotected sex.

Of course, you shouldn’t deny yourself of the things that improve your appearance but you need to have a balance and not only focus on the external factors that eventually leave you feeling less than. Are you free? Or are you influenced by other’s opinions, expectations or judgments of you?

Watch "OWN Spotlight: Black Women OWN the Conversation" featuring politician Stacey Abrams, singer Monica, and comedian Kym Whitley discussing the topic of beauty, hair, colorism, and body shape.

When you are a balanced person – mind, body and spirit, it will reflect in your mood and attitude. You will not have bad feeling when scrolling the latest Instagram post. You will be able to accept yourself and all your imperfections and flaws and that’s the deepest kind of beauty embodied and empowered by self-love. You are more than enough. You are strong enough. You are good enough.

Once you have a strong foundation set, it’s much easier to embrace all the parts of who you are and not be swayed of influenced by what society claims is beautiful or successful. You will also be less likely to really care what people think of you.

If you know someone who is struggling with their self-image, please share this information. We all go through the same struggles and you just never know how a source of encouragement can transform a life.

Celebrate your best self. 

Cheers to the journey!